Somebody tried to stump this squid by putting it in front of a background that its camouflage mechanisms could never hope to imitate…
So it turned itself transparent.
stick it to the man, Squid.
do you ever see a picture of your internet friend for the first time and you just kinda think
it appears i have accidentally befriended a beauty goddess.
you all deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you all the time and i really hope all of you find that one day because you all deserved to be loved
I’m going to assume this has happened to anyone who’s ever cuddled anyone and has a penis.
Source (find the exact comic yourself; at least I linked you to the webpage)
no, no, dont do this, please, if you are cuddling w/ me your boner is like a compliment and i welcome you to grind that shit into the back of my legs
if we are spooning and there isn’t a boner pressed into my butt I will assume you don’t actually like me and get really upset
Bones next to the butt are nice
Butt bones are the best bones.
where the women of tumblr make me feel better about having a boner when cuddling
I’m laughing so hard
just a heads up, if i ever weird you out on any level, too friendly, too flirty, anything at all, i encourage you to be very vocal towards me about it to make sure i dont continue to make you uncomfortable. i dont want anyone feeling like im not someone they can trust and be comfortable around.
Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):
OF THE BRILLIANT:
STUFF IT HAS IN IT:
MY GIRLFRIEND IS FUCKING INSANE
No it would be instantaneous and then your body would float around those big colorful nebulas and you could get to other galaxies and maybe become part of a moon or get incinerated in a star or fall into a black hole.
You could become part of an asteroid and impact on a moon and your microscopic dust remains are scattered all over the crater.
You could become part of a star and undergo nuclear fission and turn into hydrogen and your body is a tiny fraction of the process of the star and you make light for the universe and then the star ages and your atoms get turned into iron and then the star goes supernova and you’re spewed across the universe as space dust.
You could land of a kind-of habitable planet and your DNA survives as you start to decompose and in a few million years the primitive life forms of your body become science’s greatest mystery for humankind.
You could be found by an alien civilization who’s also wondering ‘are we alone in the universe’ and suddenly they know they’re not because woah processed materials and tools and crazy-developed processing centers woah and then in a couple thousand years they make first contact because of the space-travelling cultural revolution your corpse prompted in their society and the humans of the future go ‘how did you get all these spaceships and junk’ and they reverently pull out your body and you are interred with great fanfare and people make you statues and holidays and stuff.
Your body could end up literally anywhere in the universe and you’d be the first human there because who said you had to be alive huh?
What is wrong with you
The newest color from crayola
- Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
- Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
- ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
- Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
- Dad: *chokes into his drink*
- ROL: You should respect your elders.
- Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
- Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
- ROL: *storms off*
- Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
- Me: What?
- Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.
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